i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
