oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
