Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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