when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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