That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
