Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.