She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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