sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so much tequila, so little girl.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
