think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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