he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
