How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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