using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
