I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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