I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love you. Go after that dick
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
