he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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