we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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