i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
