just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
