Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize