The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
