HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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