these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
