White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
