Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
