I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
