If that was your dad, he is hot
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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