Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
