I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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