butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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