I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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