So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
