I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think my moral compass just broke
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
