i permit you to call me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bring me that man meat
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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