And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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