I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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