we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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