Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
