Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize