based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
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