Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
