what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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