He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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