please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
