Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
