just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
