My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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