remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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