was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
worst night to have a conscience
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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