Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize