I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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