so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
where does the pee come out of this thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
