this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
