I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
