How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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