I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
why is half of my head shaved?
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