4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
