You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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