My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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