My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize