she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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