I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
