He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
